1. You have every right to be Different, Unique, YOU! ~ Ty Howard
2. A BULLY is someone who believes in Behaving Ugly, Looking Lame, Yelling Ignorance, and Needing Game. ~ Ty Howard
3. The gift in you will continuously shine through when you fully believe with unrelenting determination, “I Am Beautiful! I Am Loved! I Have The Ability to Smile, Laugh, and Do Great Things with My Life!” ~ Ty Howard
4. Faith and determination spares us from five evils: bullies, teasers, haters, mean-spirited people, and false friends. ~ Ty Howard
5. When you intentionally bully and hurt other people, you hurt yourself. You reveal to the world you have low self-esteem and little love for yourself. ~ Ty Howard
6. STOP Bullying NOW! Save a Dream! Save a Friend! Save a Life! Save a Human Being! ~ Ty Howard
7. Bullying does much more damage than you’ll ever know. When you have thoughts of bullying or doing or saying anything mean to anyone—don’t do it, just let it go. ~ Ty Howard
8. Do not lose faith and trust in the fact that there are a lot more good people in the world than the current bully / bullies that are making your life feel worthless and like you’re living in a never-ending hell.
~ Ty Howard
9. A true friend is someone who there for you always, even if it means going against your pleas to not tell (or snitch) and finding a reliable and caring adult to help and protect you from the bully everyone else is terrified of. ~ Ty Howard
10. Self-Love for ourselves guides our morals; Our Love for others guides our manners. ~ Ty Howard
11. Never take a person’s dignity by bullying, belittling or hurting them—it’s worth more to them than it ever will to you. ~ Ty Howard
12. You’ll miss the best things in life if you allow a bully to scare and force you to hide and live inside yourself. ~ Ty Howard
13. If you want to standout… don’t be reckless or mean—Be OUTSTANDING! ~ Ty Howard
14. To be a bully is very lonely. You live with false hopes, beliefs, and often false friends. ~ Ty Howard
15. Everyone – Everywhere – Should Stand Up Against Bullying without hesitation or the feeling of pity for bullied victims. You’re Standing Up because it’s the right thing to do, it can save a dream and a life, and to one day bring an end to such a vicious toxic behavior. ~ Ty Howard
16. If you are friends with a known bully and you do nothing to get your friend to STOP his/her toxic behavior—you’re suffering from the same fears, low-self esteem and intimidation as the victims your friend “The Bully” is bullying. ~ Ty Howard
17. Unless someone like you cares a whole lot, bullying and hate crimes will never end. It’s not. ~ Ty Howard
18. Think left and think right, and think up and think down. Oh, the things we can begin to do to STOP and Stand Up Against Bullying NOW! ~ Ty Howard
19. Today, look at the person who is sitting in front, behind, to the left and to the right of you in each of your scheduled school classes. Then think for a moment… How would you like to remember each one of them right before you go to be this evening: “One of them crying and choosing to hurt themselves because they were bullied today?” or “All of them smiling and celebrating with you after you all have walked across the stage and received your diploma on graduation day?” Choose, take a firm and bold stance for the latter—and you’ll wake up the next morning smiling and eager to go to school that day. ~ Ty Howard
20. Make today the day you forgive someone who wronged you, hurt you or disappointed you in any way—and you will soon free yourself from a self-imposed mental and stress filled prison. ~ Ty Howard
Ty Howard of http://dynamicyouthspeaker.com, is the author of the best-selling book Untie the Knots™ That Tie Up Your Life: Freeing Yourself from Toxic Habits, Choices, People, and Relationships, and the forthcoming teen character enrichment and empowerment book You Were Born to Be G.R.R.R.R.E.A.T.!!!!™. He is recognized around the world as a highly sought after consultant and expert on youth enrichment and teen empowerment. Ty teaches young people and the professionals who work with and develop them, how to defeat toxic habits, maintain a positive attitude, and achieve true greatness. With over 16 dedicated years as a Dynamic Professional Speaker for Youth & Teens, Ty has a proven track record for delivering inspiring and engaging programs that bring forth immediate positive change, desired outcomes, and real-life results.
Contact Ty’s Business Office: Maryland, nationwide by arrangement and via telephone; available for keynote speaking engagements, school assemblies, educational sessions, workshops, leadership conferences, diversity conferences, youth – teen conferences, bullying awareness and prevention programs, professional development programs for educators (administrators, guidance counselors, teachers, etc.), teen camps, teen retreats, and radio / television interviews…(also available for last minute radio / television interviews).
Toll Free Phone: 1 (800) 385-3177 (Maryland / USA)
Do you know an organization that is tied up by the toxic knots of Conflict?
An organization tied up by leadership conflicts, teamwork conflicts, customer service conflicts, gender conflicts, diversity conflicts, gossip conflicts, morale conflicts, rumor mill conflicts, inappropriate behavior conflicts, verbal abuse conflicts, policy conflicts, communication conflicts, integrity conflicts… and it goes around-and-around.
Voilà, welcome to the Conflict Merry-Go-Round at Work!
You know what’s even worse: to have the Conflict Merry-Go-Round going around-and-around inside your workplace and not know how to effectively Untie the Knots® of Conflict to make it stop.
Conflict is a fact of life. When a diverse range of people work together every day, conflict is inevitable. Conflict in the workplace is generally the result of serious disagreement or ignored and avoided tension between two people or a group of people. In most cases, conflict in the workplace causes disorder and an uncomfortable work environment. At the very least, it can lead to low morale among staff. At worst, the results can become a very time-consuming and costly problem that can have a severe impact on a company’s overall performance and bottom line.
While conflict, tension and misunderstandings are normal and inevitable, if left unresolved they result in toxic stress, wasted resources, a drop in productivity, team separation, and an increase in employee call outs or misuse of sick time.
The good news? It doesn’t have to be and stay this way. Armed with practical step-by-step strategies and the desire to Untie the Knots® of Conflict at work, you can – over time – stop the Conflict Merry-Go-Round. In turn, creating a healthy, peak performing and harmonious work environment.
Here is a practical step-by-step process for working effectively through conflict in the workplace:
Step 1: Calm down / Cool off period.
Whenever there is a conflict between two people or a group of people at work, separate and allow the people involved to take a “Calm down / Cool off period.” The tension level of the conflict should be the barometer to help you to determine how long this period should be.
When emotions and minds become calm and clear, the process of conflict resolution becomes easier to steer (navigate).
Step 2: Set the stage.
Bring the people involved in the conflict to an empty meeting room where you can close the door and block out all possible distractions if the room has windows. Share with them the clear ground rules for the meeting. Make sure your ground rules have a clear and sound method on how communication will go and flow throughout the meeting. Also, let your people know that your goal as the leader of the meeting is to get everything out in the open in a professional, controlled and respectful manner, and to ultimately resolve the conflict moving forward.
Be mindful that as the leader of the meeting, you must lead by example while communicating and orchestrating the meeting in a professional, respectful and non-aggressive (attacking or argumentative) manner.
A conflict resolution stage well set leads to the successful meeting ground rules being met.
Step 3: Tell what’s bothering you using “I messages.”
When people share what’s bothering them using “I messages” or “I statements,” it unearths and creates the lines of open and honest communication. “I messages” evoke true emotions and feelings behind what’s being said.
An “I message” filled dialogue breaks people through the tension clog of conflict.
Step 4: Each person restates what they heard the other person say.
After each person involved in the conflict shares their “I messages,” have the other person(s) restate what they heard that person say. This step creates an opportunity for everyone to gain clarity and understanding of how the tension and conflict came about.
Restating what you heard allows the other person to bring clarity to their words, so no one is left to assume the other person’s behavior or intentions.
Step 5: Define the problem and take responsibility.
Once everything has been openly and honestly communicated in a professional, controlled and respectful manner, it’s now time for all involved to define the problem and take responsibility for their participation in the conflict.
When people define and take responsibility of their part in a conflict situation, they release healthy human intentions to resolve the situation.
Step 6: Brainstorm and evaluate solution options.
The most effective way to end a conflict between the people involved is to empower them to brainstorm and evaluate the solution options that will enable them to resolve their conflict.
People rarely reject solution options they brainstorm and evaluate to resolve their conflict problems.
Step 7: Negotiate down to one solution option, and create an agreement.
It’s great when people involved in a conflict come up with several possible solution options to resolve their conflict. This at least allows those involved to create an Option A, B, or C. In order to make this happen, the conflict participants have to negotiate down to one solution option, and create an agreement to execute the practicing of this one solution option immediately.
People rarely quit on the solution option they negotiate down to and agree on when working to resolve their conflict situation.
Step 8: Affirm, Forgive, or Thank.
Do not expect feelings, emotions and negative attitudes between people involved in a conflict to change immediately after one successful meeting. Depending on the situation at hand, resolving the conflict can often be a time-consuming and laborious process. If and when you make it to this step in working to resolve a conflict between people at work, simply look at it as progress, small victories won.
If you can get the conflict participants to “Affirm” that they will honestly work to uphold their newly instated agreement, that’s a small victory won. If you can get the conflict participants to genuinely “Forgive” one another without you forcing them to do so, that’s a small victory won. If you can get the conflict participants to “Thank” one another for listening caringly to what they had to say and to agreeing to work to resolve and move forward from the conflict, that’s a small victory won. Affirm, Forgive, or Thank are small victories to win and celebrate when it comes to resolving conflict at work.
Successful conflict resolution is always the result of small victories won, over time.
Step 9: Put the agreed upon option into practice.
What good is it to have a negotiated and agreed upon solution option for a current conflict going on inside your workplace, if you do not put it into practice? Just as strategic planning and execution of a new plan (goals and objectives moving forward) is highly important for the success of an entire organization, so rings true for the strategic planning and execution of a new plan (goals and objectives moving forward) to resolve conflict between people at work. Do not leave the agreement to resolve a conflict between the participants involved to mere words in the air and a shake of hands. Type up a short one page agreement of the participants’ agreement, and have everyone present at the meeting to sign and date it. Your agreement should state clearly and briefly what everyone has agreed to and acknowledge that the practicing and follow-through of the solution option is now officially in place.
When resolving a conflict between people at work, you must put into practice along with the initial agreement, a typed, signed and dated action plan. The action plan will act as a recall and coaching tool for everyone involved in the conflict resolution part of the situation.
Step 10: Schedule an impromptu follow-up.
Inform the participants involved in the conflict that there will be an impromptu follow-up to their successful meeting and signed agreement. When it comes to conflict resolution, I prefer an impromptu meet over an announced and pre-scheduled meeting. When participants know there is a pre-scheduled meeting, they often shape up and fly straight long enough to make it to and through the announced pre-scheduled meeting. Just let the participants know that there will be an impromptu follow-up meeting to take place within the next 90 days. In the meantime, you determine when and how you will call the participants back to and into your follow-up meeting.
If you wish to see and evaluate the true impact of your conflict resolution coaching skills and this process, always schedule an impromptu follow-up meeting so the real and true participants show up for the conflict follow-up session. This method will allow you to effectively gage if the conflict is completely over, or if you still have more conflict coaching to do until the situation is completely resolved.
Initially, this entire process may be extremely time-consuming and frustrating for everyone involved, yet, it needs to be done. If it gets too frustrating or you do not feel like you’re making progress, don’t quit on the process. No matter how big or small your conflict may be—you can do something positive and progressive to eventually break your conflict participants free. Stay the course!
Communicate to your entire staff or team that not all conflict is “bad,” it can be a driving force for creativity, innovation, and resilient solutions. That’s constructive conflict and should be within everyone’s skill set to navigate. Ask for their positive support and refusal to participate in any way that will make the conflict situation worse. When conflict becomes disruptive, hostile and creates an unsafe environment for people to work in, seek outside help immediately.
When working to Untie the Knots® of the Conflict Merry-Go-Round inside your workplace, be confident that you are moving in the right direction! If you do it right, and are consistent in showing your team that a harmonious work environment can exist and will benefit everyone, your employees will soon become more energized as they feel both empowered and safe. The time and effort you’ve invested will prove worthwhile. And as the dark gloomy cloud of conflict dissipates from over your company’s Conflict Merry-Go-Round, you will gain more and more control of slowing it down and eventually bring it to a stop. You will also find yourself feeling empowered, and will realize you built accountability by staying confident and committed to a practical process that enabled you to Untie the Knots® of the Conflict Merry-Go-Round at work.
Remember —
The Conflict Merry-Go-Round May Test Your Workplace,
Leaving It Tensioned and Toxic Inside.
Don’t Ignore It! Never Quit on It! Work to Resolve It!
You’ve May Have Been Delayed, But You’re RARELY Denied.
Make Today THE Day that you introduce and execute the process to—Untie the Knots® of the Conflict Merry-Go-Round at Work!
About the Author: Ty Howard,
Mr. Untie the Knots®,
Freeing Maximal Business, Performance & Human Potential Daily!
Ty Howard is an internationally recognized authority on personal and relationship development. He is the creator and lead facilitator of the trademarked “Untie the Knots® Personal Performance Process,” and the author of the best-selling book Untie the Knots® That Tie Up Your Life: A Practical Guide to Freeing Yourself from Toxic Habits, Choices, People, and Relationships, as well as dozens of published articles on relationships, healthy habits development, empowerment and peak performance worldwide.
To learn more about Ty Howard’s consulting and professional speaking services, visit: http://www.TyHoward.com.
Ty Howard of http://www.tyhoward.com is one of America’s TOP and in-demand business and motivational speakers on the circuit.
Ty Howard, Mr. Untie the Knots(R), is an internationally respected authority on self-development and business-development. He is a habits consultant, relationship expert, teacher, success coach, and professional development consultant who has dedicated his life to teaching knots-free living and relationship-building to organizations, individuals, and families around the world. Ty is the author of the best-selling book Untie the Knots(TM) That Tie Up Your Life: A Practical Guide to Freeing Yourself from Toxic Habits, Choices, People, and Relationships.
When doing a story on any aspect of Achieving Success, Motivation, Overcoming Life’s Challenges, Employee Morale, Balancing Work & Life, Relationships, Fatherhood, Habit Development or Breaking within People, or Professional or Personal Development…
Contact Ty’s Business Office: Maryland, nationwide by arrangement and via telephone; available for keynote speaking engagements, and radio / television interviews…(also available for last minute radio / television interviews).
There are bad habits that you can bring to work, and then there are toxic habits that you can bring to work. Bad habits usually irritate others around you and delay progress in some way, shape or form. Toxic habits go beyond mere irritation of co-workers—they decrease employee morale, sabotage team performance, and destroy work relationships.
The fact is, if an employee or employees are able to exist within an organization or team with toxic habits, that organization or team will never achieve the desired results it sets out to accomplish. That’s the simple law of Cause and Effect. Healthy habits create positive rewards. Toxic habits breed negative outcomes.
If you want to distance yourself from the countless number of employees who bring bad and toxic habits to work, and enjoy being a co-worker who is liked and called on regularly, understand this—your habits will create your future.
The 5 Toxic Habits to Not Bring to Work are:
1) A Negative Attitude
2) Not Being a Team Player
3) Gossiping
4) Know-It-All
5) Resisting Change
Let’s explore the 5 Toxic Habits to Not Bring to Work each day and how to break these toxic habits that are becoming more common in the workplace.
Toxic Habit #1: A Negative Attitude
There’s nothing more energy-zapping and morale-draining as having to deal with a negative, sarcastic, spiteful, and pessimistic co-worker. If you are the co-worker who complains a lot, focuses on reasons why things can’t be done, and promotes negative commentary throughout the organization that venomously predicts poor outcomes—you are the transporter of a negative attitude at work.
How to Break Toxic Habit #1: Instead of coming to work with a negative attitude, try stringing together a series of “A” Days for the next 30 days. To string together a series of “A” Days, it will require you approaching each work day with a positive attitude that each day will be an “A” Day. The reality is—not every day will be an “A” Day; yet, if you approach each day with an “A” Day mentality, you will string together more positive and productive “A” Days than any other days. In turn, your change of attitude and behavior will contribute to improving employee morale, team performance, work relationships, and your overall health and position for advancement.
Toxic Habit #2: Not Being a Team Player
Another toxic road to failure at work is refusing to be a team player. If you are the co-worker who does not show up every day for work on time, who does not take care of your assigned responsibilities and workload, who only cares about self-gain and recognition, who refuses to pitch in and work a little harder, even on a task that is not specifically assigned to you—you are NOT a team player at work.
How to Break Toxic Habit #2: Start today by committing to participate in work activities (even tasks that aren’t specifically assigned to you), show up for work on time, promote the recognition of your team members first, get your workload and responsibilities completed ahead of deadlines, create opportunities to get to know your co-workers and for them to get to know you, and practice having good manners and a friendly disposition on a daily basis. Becoming a better team contributor will make you a more valuable player.
Toxic Habit #3: Gossiping
At work you’ve created great friendships and have lots of colleagues who you interact with on a daily basis. No matter how you would like to avoid it or even if you enjoy it, gossip at work is a part of life. Yet, there’s a fine line between sharing a quick story/situation and being a toxic gossiper. If you are the co-worker who likes to gossip because it makes you feel more powerful and popular, attracts attention and puts you on center stage for the moment, bonds you with the group of popular office gossipers, makes you seen as “in the know” to co-workers, and provides you with several sets of ears when you need and want to vent—you are a toxic gossiper.
How to Break Toxic Habit #3: If you tend to gossip over lunch, maybe you have to rethink who you’re going to lunch with regularly. Conversations with co-workers always demand a certain level of discretion in order to protect people’s privacy and respect their boundaries. Asking too many personal questions and snooping into people’s private affairs can make them feel uncomfortable and not trusting of you. If someone wants to involve you in gossip, refuse to take their invitation. Each time you avoid getting involved in gossip, the easier it will get. It’s the first couple of times that it will be a conscious effort to resist the temptation. Amidst all the challenges, stay focused on the benefits you will gain by not becoming entangled again in this toxic habit.
Toxic Habit #4: Know-It-All
Know-it-alls act like they are experts when they aren’t. However, they don’t always know they aren’t experts, which makes them very challenging and poor team players to work with. If you are the co-worker who is always right, craves every opportunity to look smart and important, has a low tolerance for correction or contradiction, likes to learn a little about a lot of things, and is often so condescending that you do not have the patience or time for others to catch up to your way of thinking—you are a toxic know-it-all.
How to Break Toxic Habit #4: If you think you might be a know-it-all or a friend, relative or co-worker has told you that you act like a know-it-all, here are a few pointers to help you break this toxic habit: Analyze the feelings that invade you when you finally stop talking. The only way to get to the source of your problem is to stop talking and think about why you feel the need to tell the world every little thing you know. Make a list of the elements of your personality that you dislike. Try to see yourself in the same way that others perceive you, paying special attention to your narcissistic and never wrong behavior. Take note of the way in which you react when confronted with criticism. Concentrate on the needs of your co-workers and show interest in what they’re talking about or doing. Remember, other people feel the need to be listened to as well.
Toxic Habit #5: Resisting Change
In recent years, changes in the economy and business have forced several organizations to change the way they do business. Whether we like it or not, executives, managers and supervisors are the ones who have to implement the changes. The natural and first reaction to change is resistance. If you are a co-worker who thinks if you hold out long enough the new policies won’t stick; works to show and prove the new methods/systems are causing more problems than help; expresses that all customers are complaining about the new changes; quickly rejects to share the new products/services with customers; and gangs up on management with negative absolutes, such as “Everyone says that they’re very unhappy with the recent changes!” and “We’ve tried that in the past and it won’t work again, wait and see!”—you are resisting change with toxic behavior.
How to Break Toxic Habit #5: If you truly feel that a new method of doing something will be counterproductive to the company’s goals, express your concerns; and at the same time, bring with you a set of typed out alternatives that you think could work as well, or better. Change will happen with or without you, so it’s up to you to either take part in it or be cancelled out by it.
BONUS Tips to Help You More: Acknowledge and accept the bad or toxic habit that you want to change. Unless you have an interest and commitment to change, you will not act upon it. Have patience. Behavioral change takes time and support. Tell friends, relatives and co-workers – who genuinely care for you and your future success – about your plan and get them to support you. With some encouragement your journey to breaking the bad and toxic habits will not be a lonely one.
Being a good co-worker is as important as being a good worker. If you wish to be that person at work who people like and don’t cringe to call on, without having to sucking up to anyone, then leave both your bad and toxic habits at home.
Suggestion:
To learn more about how to successfully free yourself or others from bad and toxic habits, read Ty’s best-selling book Untie the Knots® That Tie Up Your Life: A Practical Guide to Freeing Yourself from Toxic Habits, Choices, People, and Relationships.
About the Author: Ty Howard,
Mr. Untie the Knots®,
Freeing Maximal Business, Performance & Human Potential Daily!
Ty Howard is an internationally recognized authority on organizational and managerial practices that optimize employee performance and success. He is the creator and lead facilitator of the trademarked Untie the Knots® Optimal Performance Process, and the author of Untie the Knots®: Improving Habits, Choices, People, Relationships, Performance and Results, as well as dozens of published articles on employee and organizational performance and development worldwide. For information on his programs and services, visit: http://www.tyhoward.com.
Ever lose sleep wondering what to do to improve employee morale?
Fact – at one time or another most managers find themselves lying in bed with their minds stressfully moving due to the difficult challenge of improving employee morale. After all, keeping employees motivated so they will continuously produce meaningful work is one of the most difficult jobs there is. Yet, as a leader it’s THE most important function you perform.
Many companies today say that they want to improve employee morale because they know it’s a key driver for their desired success. Yet, at the same time, they do not want to invest a lot of time or money into this area. Managers are told, “Get them motivated the best way you know how, and do it with the least amount of time and money too.” Or they are told, “Let them know, they should be happy to still have a job when so many others are unemployed today.”
Your organization or department can have big plans and big goals, but if your employees do not have high levels of harmony and motivation, you will never achieve optimal success. In this article, you are going to receive four powerful and proven strategies on how to improve employee morale all the time. Are you ready to M.E.E.T. and apply the strategies? Here they are…
1) Meet.
If you’re a manager who truly wants to improve morale and harmony within your department or team, Meet. Yes, Meet! Schedule a meeting of your team, and set the tone by letting everyone in attendance know your ultimate goals and objectives for this meeting.
It doesn’t matter if the morale is very low, in the middle or high, you should always Meet. You meet so you can get, learn and check the pulse of your team’s morale. Ask your team openly what’s good about work and life within the company or department? What’s not so good about work and life within the company or department?
2) Empower.
Let your team members know that this meeting is a meeting where everyone is to civilly and honestly share their feedback and suggestions on how “WE” can improve morale with the resources and relationships we currently have. How can “WE” create a more healthy, motivated and harmonious work environment for our team moving forward?
3) Encourage.
Encourage your team members to hold themselves accountable for their actions, interactions, words, service, and healthy attitudes moving forward. Encourage your team to embrace the new way of doing business moving forward; a new way that will be designed, agreed upon and put into practice by the team. Let them know ultimately “An Encouraged YOU Becomes An Empowered YOU!”
4) Transition.
Transition from the old foolish, smoke-and-mirrors way for improving employee morale and harmony; to a more genuine and honest way that will position and have team members – both as a group and as individuals – achieving optimal success with your team time-and-time again.
The old foolish, smoke-and-mirrors way involved a manager or company throwing promotional goodies, gimmicks and fluff company events at a low employee morale situation in an attempt to immediately boost morale. The more genuine and honest way is for a manager or company to take the time and spend the necessary money to Meet often effectively, so that everyone is involved in the contributions and buy-in of the new way of conducting team business. That’s how you improve employee morale and harmony TODAY!
If you truly want to improve employee morale, remember that promotional goodies, gimmicks, and fluff company events are not the answer. In order to reach and maintain high levels of morale – all the time – you are going to be required to Meet, Empower, Encourage, and Transition – all the time. It’s no better time than TODAY for both you and your employees to make a higher level of employee morale and harmony a reality, together.
About the Author: Ty Howard is an internationally recognized authority on organizational and managerial practices that optimize employee performance and success. He is the creator and lead facilitator of the trademarked Untie the Knots® Optimal Performance Process, and the author of Untie the Knots®: Improving Habits, Choices, People, Relationships, Performance and Results, as well as dozens of published articles on employee and organizational performance and development worldwide.
